Fanmail for the Common Man

I recently received this anonymous email:

I thought I’d ask you a question off-blog. I find your blog interesting, but I’m not sure what you’re doing with it. I mean, I’m in on it, but I don’t know that I’m still into it. This is what I see you doing with your blog:
[much unnecessary conjecture, mostly academic, omitted by editor—JS]

...the problem with your blog is that there is no narrative coherence. One minute, you’re talking about your wife and child. The next, they’re gone. Same for your neighbor. You get sick, write some wacky stuff, then you pop back onto the blog like nothing happened. And what happened to all that “sentimental traveler” stuff?

You talked in your last blog post about readership. How can you expect people to keep tuning in if they have no idea what to expect, or even what the point is?

--Anonymous

Points well taken, Anonymous (Brian? Avram?) I’ll admit that I’ve been remiss in mentioning both Ruthie and Wilbur. Certain things happened after I recuperated from my last bout of illness, things that influenced my decisions in posting entries on this blog. If there is a problem with my blog, it’s that I started talking about these people and then tried to make my life a bit more private.

You’re right about all of it, though: the disjointed entries, the lack of sentimental moments, the disappearance of Ruthie and Wilbur. I’m sorry you’re not into the blog; in fact, I never asked that anyone be into “The Happy Stevensons.” Like most blogs, this is just a space wherein I can tell others about my life. That is, as you say, the point. I never assumed otherwise.

You, though, demand narrative coherence, and narrative coherence you shall have. I’ve had enough time to sit and mull over the events of the past two weeks. I’m looking forward to giving you the synthesis you so desperately need. Backstory, sub-plots, confessional, mirth and misery: all for you, Anonymous. That’s how far I’m willing to go for someone who takes the time to read my blog.

Oh yes, and free toasters for all three of my other readers.

I’ll even throw in one of my father’s famous Pocket Pan Fryer(R) units.